Embracing Acceptance: You Are Not Broken

The Urge to Fix Ourselves and Others

In both my personal and professional life, I often encounter the dilemma of wanting to fix things—ourselves, others, or our circumstances. It seems to be an intrinsic part of the human condition to strive for improvement, to continuously seek ways to fix what we perceive as broken. This desire, however, can inadvertently lead us to feel ashamed or inadequate for not measuring up to an imagined standard of being “fixed.”

The Paradox of Self-Improvement

While there is value in trying to improve our situation, our health, or our general wellbeing, the constant attitude of seeing ourselves as broken can be counterproductive. Instead of helping, this mindset often creates more stress and a sense of deficiency. As a mindfulness practitioner, I have learnt the importance of accepting what is—of recognising, naming, and allowing whatever arises within us, without resistance.

Mindfulness: Allowing Rather Than Resisting

The practice of mindfulness teaches us not to push our feelings or experiences away. Instead, we are encouraged to feel them deeply and allow them to move through us. The principle is simple: what you resist, persists. This is especially true when it comes to our bodies. Focusing solely on perceived flaws or injuries does not aid healing. In fact, tension breeds further tension, and stress often leads to physical tightening. Worrying about pain only causes us to tense up more, locking us into a cycle of struggle against our own bodies.

The Mind’s Negativity Bias

I frequently observe this struggle in people recovering from injury or illness. There is a tendency to ask, “Why am I not healed? Why am I broken? Will I ever get better?” This mindset is reinforced by our mind’s natural negativity bias—we are wired to focus on what’s wrong, not what’s right. It is not your fault; it is simply how human brains are programmed to operate.

Compassion and Acceptance

In a world that often lacks compassion, the qualities of self-love, self-care, and self-compassion are more important than ever—especially when we are in pain, whether physical or mental. When facing illness or emotional struggle, the most helpful response is to offer yourself forgiveness, care, and love. Accept your pain, allow your frustration with kindness, and breathe through the difficult moments. Do not fight against your reality; instead, be present with it and accept that this is how things are right now—and that is perfectly okay.

 

 

Patience on the Path to Recovery

Recovery is not a process of quick fixes or miracle cures. It takes time and patience. Remember that it is not your fault, and there is no blame to be placed. Your worth is not determined by your state of health; you are just as valuable and deserving of love, regardless of aches, pains, or difficult emotions. You are not broken—you are simply experiencing a challenging moment. Hold that experience with grace, acceptance, and love.